8/4/2023 0 Comments Time out bench![]() ![]() Have your child select one and see if he can apply it to his situation. You can use verses on self-control (Titus 2:12, Galatians 5:23, Proverbs 25:28), obedience (Leviticus 18:4, Nehemiah 1:9, Proverbs 19:16), wholesome talk (Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 15:1) and treatment of others (Philippians 2:3, Ephesians 4:32). Using the Heart of the Matter Parenting Cards will provide you with young kid-friendly Bible verses and pictures of what your child can do instead.įor older children, it can be helpful to have a ready-made stack of index cards with Bible verses about the most common misbehaviors (you can download a free printable that might help here). Young children may respond with something like, “It’s not nice.” Encourage him to go beyond this explanation and teach empathy with questions like, “How do you think it made _ feel when you did _?” or “How would you feel if that happened to you?” Once he answers the question regarding what he did wrong, you can ask, “Why do you think that is wrong?” This is the point in the process when you have an opportunity to make a real spiritual impact on your child’s godly character. Young children can look through the cards and select the one (or ones) that illustrate what he or she did wrong. ![]() These cards visually display the 5 common misbehaviors which are at the root of all disobedience. You are not doing this to shame but to educate.įor very young children (ages 3-7), you may want to use our Heart of the Matter Parenting Cards. If he seems ready to talk, you can put an arm around him and ask, “What was it that earned you this time out?” You want him to internalize the fact that while you may have told him to go to time out, it was his behavior that ultimately sent him there. Return again and re-assess the softness of his heart. You may wish to incorporate a few of them into your time out routine. Here are some ideas that can help your child regulate his emotions. If he bristles and turns his back to you, quietly say, “You need more time, I’ll be back soon.” At this time, you may decide to offer him a stuffed animal to squeeze or another pre-decided calming tool if he is struggling to regulate his emotions. Your child’s reaction to your presence will reveal the softness of his heart. You want to have a soft heart for the next step. ![]() If you are not feeling calm and compassionate yourself, wait to approach until you are. As the parent, you know when your child is calm. Your child may need just a minute or two for the reset to work. Go and sit next to him when he has been sitting quietly and seems calmer. > What do I do if my my won’t stay in time out? Step 3: Sit with him when his time is up The bottom of the stairs is a good location or you may just use a spot in a nearby hallway.ĭo not engage in bargaining or discussion, but stay nearby – your presence is comforting. You should already have a spot in your home that your children know is designated for this. If your child delays, simply remind him, “Your time out begins when you are seated and quiet.” Go to time out.” Be sure that he heard you. Make eye contact and say calmly but firmly, “It is not okay to _. If this warning does not affect any change, he is in need of a re-set and a time out may be in order. Let’s try that again.” This gives the child a moment to reset on their own without the use of a time out. ![]() However, if your child clearly knows what is expected of him and is choosing to disobey anyway, you can simply say, “Uh oh. If your child is immediately sorry and willing to make it right, no matter what was done, a time out is not necessary – his heart is already ready for a fresh start. If a child throws a ball in the house after you told him not to, you can simply take the ball away. If a child accidentally hurts someone or breaks something, a time out may not be required. Step 1: Assess the behavior and provide a warningĭon’t automatically assume that a time out is the appropriate response for every offense. Furthermore, Christian parents can use time in after the time out as a wonderful opportunity to teach values and develop godly character in their children.īelow are some tips on how to use time outs in a way that make time in for God. Time outs are simply a pause button in your child’s day, where he gets an opportunity to reset and restart. Time outs should not be used as a punishment. Unfortunately, most time outs miss the mark. Time out is a universally accepted behavioral strategy that is widely used by parents and childcare professionals alike. ![]()
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